Me: “I have questions about elf cannibalism.”

Non-Writer Friend: “You would.”

Writer Friend: “Actually… me too?”

Most of my questions hinge on prion diseases for elf cannibals, and if they can be avoided by eating humans, but then that’s not really cannibalism, is it?

…these are things I think about.

Of course I have a significant number of questions about the preparation of the dishes in elf cannibalism, too. Because you know elves won’t just Sloppy Joe that shit. They’ll CUISINE it.

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They call themselves humans. What do you elves call them? 

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